


Informal Education

by redfive86



Category: Young Wizards - Diane Duane
Genre: F/M, Multi, Yuletide, Yuletide 2017, Yuletide Madness, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-07 06:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12835383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redfive86/pseuds/redfive86
Summary: Kit and Nita are having some relationship troubles and Ronan might just be the solution.





	Informal Education

**Author's Note:**

  * For [labellementeuse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/labellementeuse/gifts).



“I can’t believe the Manual can give you a detailed precis on an organism that’s halfway across the universe but it can’t tell you how to give an orgasm to the person right in front of you.”

Ronan chuckled and took a pull of his beer.  “Mate, by now you should have realized the Powers want us to discover the important stuff for ourselves. You can’t learn everything from a book.”

“You’d think they’d help out when it’s keeping you from getting things done. She won’t even respond when I ask her about the projects we’re working on!” Kit leaned forward and propped his elbows on his knees, hiding his head in his hands.

“I’m losing everything. I just want to bury myself in work but of course I can’t because all of my projects are tied to her.” Kit groaned loudly.

“That sounds like a problem you should take up with your supervisories.” Ronan sounded almost amused. “I hear they’re the ones you should go to when you’re having a disagreement with another wizard.”

“Right,” snapped Kit. “I’ll just pop over there for some coffee and oh, by the way Tom and Carl, I won’t be able to help save the Universe this time because I can’t get Nita off. I know your specialties don’t lie with women but can you give me any tips so I can get back to doing the One’s business?”

“Probably not the strangest thing they’ll ever be asked to do in the service of their Art.” Ronan laughed at the thought. “Probably.”

Kit shot Ronan the darkest look he could manage, which only made Ronan laugh all the harder.

“I don’t mean to take so much pleasure in your pain, mate.” Ronan continued, once his laughter had died off enough to speak. “It’s just the thought of having to go to my Seniors because I’m having bedroom troubles is too feckin’ hilarious.”

Ronan drained his beer, stood, and walked into the kitchen. “It’s a good thing you came to me, I’m the man in your tight spot.”

Kit heard the empty bottle clink into the recycling and waited to hear what else Ronan had in mind.

“You see, not only have the Powers seen fit to bless me with the skills necessary to please a lass, they have also made me a generous friend who will teach you the ways and only hold it over you for the rest of your life. Now, what you nee-”

The voice from the kitchen stopped at a knock on the door.

“Kit, do us a- no, wait, don’t get up.” Ronan walked out of the kitchen and waved a hand at Kit. “You just stay set right where you are. It’s my flat, I’ll get the door.” He waved his hand again and disappeared down the hall.

Kit squinted at the empty hallway, confused by Ronan’s strange tone. He heard the door open, hushed voices, and Kit tried to hear what was going on. He could tell the other voice was a woman’s and suddenly felt guilty for invading Ronan’s privacy just to complain about his lack-of-love life.  Kit sat up on the edge of the sofa and waited awkwardly until he heard the door close.

“Do you want me to go?” Kit asked, as soon as Ronan appeared in the hallway. “Just because I’m not getting laid doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be."  Kit stood and brushed his palms against his jeans, glancing awkwardly from side to side. “Yeah, I’m gonna go. Thanks for listening to me. I’ll just grab my coat and head back to the worldgate. Yeah.”

“Kit, sit down. You’re not going anywhere. In fact, the solution to your problem just arrived, though it took it’s sweet time getting here.” Ronan spoke the last part over his shoulder to someone in the hall behind him.

Kit froze.

“Ronan, did you get a _hooker_?” His voice came out in an astonished whisper. “I mean, I appreciate the thought, but that’s the last thing I want right now.”

To Kit’s surprise, Ronan burst out laughing again.

“Christ, you’re a keen one,” Ronan said, wiping tears from his eyes. “I happened to have had a similar chat with your lady love and convinced her that what you both need is a practical demonstration.” He reached behind him and stepped out into the apartment, bringing Nita behind him.

Kit’s mouth dropped open as he realized what Ronan was suggesting.

“I haven’t yet met a problem I can’t solve for the Powers, although you two might be a bit more of a challenge than usual.” Ronan released Nita’s wrist, turned, and started to walk toward his bedroom. “Besides Kit, I didn't think you'd object. Come on, you lot, might as well be comfortable while we do this.”

Kit stood speechless in the middle of the living room. His eyes flicked from Nita to Ronan’s retreating back and back to Nita, trying to put together the pieces of what had been arranged.

“Are we really goin-”

“Look.” Nita cut him off. “I love you, Kit. I don’t want to lose you, but I also can’t manage another five years of depressing sex. I can’t keep sleeping with you and not getting anything out of it.  Ronan knows what he's doing, or at least that's what Ca- uh, a very reliable source told me.  I need this. You need this. And apparently once again the Universe has to crawl up inside our personal life because It needs this too.”

She crossed the room and kissed him, her lips gentle against his own.  

“Ronan is the one who convinced me to give you another chance. He’s just offering to teach, no ulterior motives.” Kit realized she’d switched into the Speech. “You don’t need to be jealous, he’s really trying to help us out.”

She kissed him again, harder this time.

“I really do love you. Set your manual to record and come join us.”

Nita dropped Kit’s hand and headed in the direction Ronan had disappeared.

Kit only hesitated for a second. He still wasn’t entirely sure what the other two had planned, but if it would get Nita back, he’d do anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Real talk, I read your request on the signup spreadsheet and just flat out started writing and this is what popped out. I don't think I've ever done that before! 
> 
> Shit shit *notes redacted* because you'll know who wrote this. Watch this space!


End file.
